If you have not personally or as a couple been successful in this area there are many sites and resources to help you.
ASK a reputable person you admire or have observed their success and discipline
Accountants
Life Insurance Counselors
Online Sample Budgets
Apps Online
Counseling
Books and Workbooks
Games like Monopoly or CASH FLOW Getting out of the RAT RACE!!!
It seems like we always hit a stalemate in the "how do we get out of debt and stay in a reasonable budget" discussion. We'd agree to disagree or get frustrated and keep limping along doing our best to maintain and stay in the green.
It wasn't until recently when we actually came to admit that although we may have an A+ in many areas of our relationship this one area was an F and there was not much progress in a decade and no signs of improvement from the same patterns we were using. We had a mediator observe our hot topic patterns of escalation and retreat and it was obvious why we avoided working this to the end for so long.
Realizing it was a serious dysfunction that wasn't going to get better by pretending it was fine was the first step
Next we went on a mini vacation with a couple that really had their affairs in order. They were frugal and had the foresight and will power to plan for what they wanted and achieve it. Now that their children were starting to leave the nest we could see that they had wisely positioned themselves in a state of security and abundance just from their wise choices.
We openly talked about saving, spending, budgets etc the whole visit and came away with some great ideas that would suit our style.
They did have a few less children than we did, but also a lower paying job.
It isn't how much you make that matters, It's how much you spend or save in relation to what you make!
A great game to play is CASH FLOW. It's a fun date night game or family night game to help everyone involved view money and success in a whole new light. You are assigned a profession and you have to get out of the RAT RACE by making more residual income than you spend. Many times the janitor will win over the surgeon. Income doesn't always mean success in the Rat Race.
Our last step was finishing the important conversation that gave us a doable plan. Imagining keeping up with our expenses, and trying to get out of debt seemed overwhelming. The thought of being able to do something fun like travel or fix things around the house seemed beyone reach. It was very discouraging and stressful.. The only answer seemed to be we need to make more money, but when we slowed down and put it all on the table we were able to see a plan that would give us the financial freedom we desired.
Our last step was getting it all out on the table. I googled everything I could find on the subject and took mini courses on finances and budgeting.
There was a great site called YNAB You Need A Budget. www.youneedabudget.com I took their helpful tutorial.
We ended up deciding to download the APP Mint.com instead, because we read good reviews and mostly because it was a free app and YNAB had a monthly fee.
It puts all your bills, debts, accounts, etc... all together in one place.
It creates budgets based on your average spending and they you can add to or adjust to trim the fat.
It also let us set up goals like a vacation to CABO or HOME IMPROVEMENT budget so that while we are getting out of debt and living life we are also getting closer to what we really want one day at a time.
There is a peace that permeates into all aspects of our relationship that comes from being on the same page about how to make our goals come true together. He definitely seemed to be breathing easier and I felt more involved and closer as a result. There was no more pointing fingers and frustration, but level discussions, reporting, discussing and deciding together with our future goals in mind.
ASK a reputable person you admire or have observed their success and discipline
Accountants
Life Insurance Counselors
Online Sample Budgets
Apps Online
Counseling
Books and Workbooks
Games like Monopoly or CASH FLOW Getting out of the RAT RACE!!!
It seems like we always hit a stalemate in the "how do we get out of debt and stay in a reasonable budget" discussion. We'd agree to disagree or get frustrated and keep limping along doing our best to maintain and stay in the green.
It wasn't until recently when we actually came to admit that although we may have an A+ in many areas of our relationship this one area was an F and there was not much progress in a decade and no signs of improvement from the same patterns we were using. We had a mediator observe our hot topic patterns of escalation and retreat and it was obvious why we avoided working this to the end for so long.
Realizing it was a serious dysfunction that wasn't going to get better by pretending it was fine was the first step
Next we went on a mini vacation with a couple that really had their affairs in order. They were frugal and had the foresight and will power to plan for what they wanted and achieve it. Now that their children were starting to leave the nest we could see that they had wisely positioned themselves in a state of security and abundance just from their wise choices.
We openly talked about saving, spending, budgets etc the whole visit and came away with some great ideas that would suit our style.
They did have a few less children than we did, but also a lower paying job.
It isn't how much you make that matters, It's how much you spend or save in relation to what you make!
A great game to play is CASH FLOW. It's a fun date night game or family night game to help everyone involved view money and success in a whole new light. You are assigned a profession and you have to get out of the RAT RACE by making more residual income than you spend. Many times the janitor will win over the surgeon. Income doesn't always mean success in the Rat Race.
Our last step was finishing the important conversation that gave us a doable plan. Imagining keeping up with our expenses, and trying to get out of debt seemed overwhelming. The thought of being able to do something fun like travel or fix things around the house seemed beyone reach. It was very discouraging and stressful.. The only answer seemed to be we need to make more money, but when we slowed down and put it all on the table we were able to see a plan that would give us the financial freedom we desired.
Our last step was getting it all out on the table. I googled everything I could find on the subject and took mini courses on finances and budgeting.
There was a great site called YNAB You Need A Budget. www.youneedabudget.com I took their helpful tutorial.
We ended up deciding to download the APP Mint.com instead, because we read good reviews and mostly because it was a free app and YNAB had a monthly fee.
It puts all your bills, debts, accounts, etc... all together in one place.
It creates budgets based on your average spending and they you can add to or adjust to trim the fat.
It also let us set up goals like a vacation to CABO or HOME IMPROVEMENT budget so that while we are getting out of debt and living life we are also getting closer to what we really want one day at a time.
There is a peace that permeates into all aspects of our relationship that comes from being on the same page about how to make our goals come true together. He definitely seemed to be breathing easier and I felt more involved and closer as a result. There was no more pointing fingers and frustration, but level discussions, reporting, discussing and deciding together with our future goals in mind.
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